There was no doubt in my head that our visit to this hospital was unacceptable. After being encouraged by family and friends we contacted a lawyer recommended to us. So hesitantly we contacted him and set a time to meet with him. Before meeting with him, I sat down and wrote a complete recollection of the events; times, names, and strictly fact that I knew would match my medical records because it was 100% truth. I sent this 8-page recollection to the lawyer who was appalled at our story and decided to look into our case. We waited anxiously to hear something until March, when we sat down in a meeting that absolutely shocked me. The lawyer was very kind and apologetic, he told us the reason it had taken so long for him to research and get back to us is that even though he found our story heartbreaking and the acts of those involved unacceptable he could not find an approach that he felt could win the case.  From my understanding our case was non existing because we couldn’t prove a different outcome. Because Baby Johnny had not reached the age of viability (24 weeks) and could not live outside of the womb you can’t prove that if they would have acted differently, he would still be here.  I thanked him for his time and moved on in finding another way of justice for my sweet boy.  On 3/27/19 I filled a complaint with Complaint Agency for Health Care Administration. On 3/28/19 I sent the same 8-page recollection that I sent to the lawyer to the entire board at Baptist medical center, all of the doctors at Roc and Faben Obgyn. I was contacted within that day by M.J., Patient Advocate who informed me she had started the grievance process and C.B. who is the Vice President Patient Care Services contacted me back immediately offering her personal number and asking to meet ASAP to discuss the events. We had a brief phone conversation the next day where she said she wanted to meet with me within the next week so we could discuss what need to be done from that point. I waited until 4/19/2019 before one of C.B.’s nurse leaders contacted me. On 4/24/19 we sat down in a meaning with the M.J. (patient advocate) J. (director of prenatal services) K. (nurse manager of labor and delivery) and A. from risk management. I was very frank with them when they told me they wanted to hear my story in person and informed them that I did not understand how a hospital with a level III NICU that deals  with  pre-mature babies every day does not have a labor and delivery floor that knows how to handle premature labor. Told them that my goal is for it not to happen to another mom. That I knew there was no way I was the only patient this had happened to especially since not being listened to by a nurse has happened to me in the past at the same hospital 11 yrs. ago. I was extremely verbal and many women are too scared to question a nurse or doc, but this was not the case in this situation. They apologized for my experience and that seemed like main problem was being upset about not being listened to. I told them I would like to know the nurses and doctors stand point on it now. That the lack of apology from our nurse and doctor was unacceptable. They said it was great detail on how to coach their staff. We told them we wanted to know how they followed up and what they are going to do to keep another mother from having to bury her child. They asked if I would like to have a second meeting with doctors included, I told them absolutely and I felt Dr P. needed to attend this meeting also. They informed me that my care and treatment did not change the outcome and were going to schedule a meeting with the doctors there so they could tell me that. They also informed me that there were several emergencies that night and they took priority over me that night in hopes that it would help me understand. On 5/20/19 we met with the same people that were in the first meeting and Dr. D. We were told Dr P. would also be there but as my husband said that day “once again she was too busy for us”. Not much was accomplished different in this meeting … my problem wasn’t with Dr D., so I didn’t feel there was much I needed him to know other than he should talk to his doctors about calling him during an emergency and telling his patients all of their options unlike what was relayed to us. He reconfirmed his opinion was that nothing they could have done differently that would have changed the results. I nicely informed him that we know that we could have had the same outcome but that It does not change the fact that no attempt was made.  I also explained that I felt as if it was a doctor and a nurse’s job to take care of their patient and to listen to their patient and to do everything in their power to have the best outcome, even if they feel like it’s a waste attempt. Baptist Medical Center seem to struggle with the fact that the outcome would have been the same therefore not making attempt was an acceptable response. I felt necessary to put our point of view into perspective for them. This is the only way I could think to explain how it feels. An intruder is in your house and holding your small helpless child at gunpoint, he tells you that you have 15 minutes and I’m going to kill him. You call 911 you tell them what’s going on, you are begging, pleading, and crying, it is obvious there is truth to your story and you need help. The dispatcher knows that the nearest officer is 17 minutes away. She tells you this but you still beg for help, what if there is a chance help will make it. You beg because your child deserves a chance but instead of sending help, they ignore it because they feel that sending help wouldn’t change the outcome. The officer’s arrival time would be over the 15 minutes that the intruder gave you. You continue to call back over and over begging for help.  16 minutes after your first call the intruder takes your child’s life right in front of you. How can you be sure there’s wasn’t a possibility that the officer could’ve made it and saved your child If he was dispatched when you ask for help. The dispatcher never apologizes or acknowledges that she made a bad call. After lots of complaining her boss “reassures” you that it wouldn’t have made a difference but they will work on training better communication and listening in the future. Are you not out raged that attempt to save your child’s life was not made? Yes, this is a somewhat twisted and disgusting example but is the only one that I felt was eye-opening to the fact that when a person whose job it is to saves lives  does not even try to make an attempt just because they feel like the outcome would’ve been the same, it is not OK. That meeting ended with nothing could’ve been done to change the outcome, they were sorry for our loss and if we wanted to have another baby, we could approach things differently in the future and that this was a teachable experience and they would work on making sure their patients felt heard. Around the week of 17^th of June I received a letter from the Complaint Agency for Health Care Administration and from Baptist hospital both stating that after review there was no clinical issue. Baptist also stated that there was what seem to be a lack of communication between me and the nurse and that they would definitely try to teach their nurses to make the patient feel heard in the future. That was my last contact with Baptist and we have been contemplating releasing our story since then after much thought I just felt like the fact that they feel that the only problem was communication between me and the nurse met is not being resolved in the right fashion. In my opinion, the communication between me and the nurse was not lack of communication, it was a lack of care and complete negligence.  The fact that they could send me home in excruciating pain bleeding contracting and begging for help without trying to figure out what was going on is completely unacceptable and their defense of the outcome being the same is complete nonsense. From this point forward my post will be farther in between and revolve around my feelings and how life has transpired since our lost and any updates on progress made in justice for Baby Cakes!